blogs are dumb and i hate them

Only annoying people have blogs.

You have to be at least a little narcissistic to believe that people are interested in reading lengthy ramblings about the mundane, redundant happenings of your life. Why would someone care about your trip to Italy and the food you ate while you were there? Many people have been to Italy. You didn’t invent going to Italy. Italy has been around a lot longer than blogs, and I would argue that after the DiGiorno pizza I had for dinner last night, I already get the gist.

People don’t even read these days. And why would we? We have Tik Tok and Youtube and 40 different streaming platforms to choose from. We’ve been blessed with the internet, a futuristic wonderland filled with countless opportunities for adventure — do you think that people are really going to spend their time on the internet reading the never-ending history of your great aunt’s cinnamon bread pudding recipe?

Blog writers are almost always unstable maniacs in desperate need of psychiatric help. They are so deeply disturbed by the mediocracy of their own existence that they make it their sole mission to convince the world that their life is actually of value. 

Do you really think you have something to teach me? Do you think your opinions about local restaurants, bars, and coffee shops are of any value to me? You disgust me, blog writers. Go stare at yourself in the mirror until you realize that you, just like everyone else on this godforsaken planet, are a useless heap of flesh that will one day melt away into nothingness, and when that happens, the world will keep spinning as if you never existed at all. 

That being said, I’ve decided to try out blogging. I’ve been told that it could be a great creative outlet for me. I always have many thoughts and nonsensical ramblings dancing through my brain, and the chaos has become too much for me to bear on my own. Though video content is always superior to written content, turning my content ideas into some sort of video project would take far too much effort. Plus, it would probably require me to collaborate with some film bros who wear beanies and skinny jeans and yell at me every time I call a “cable” a “cord”, and I just can’t put myself through that again.

And so, my blogging journey begins. Maybe next time I’ll tell you all about the benefits of aromatherapy or maybe I’ll share my top five best vegan recipes. Stay tuned.